He tried not to, but he continually changed.
Subtle, as well as gross
with each new understanding.
Beginning new days, ending old nights,
carrying burdens he couldn’t share,
whilst dreaming of sharing it all.
Dreaming of ways to make amends,
to make things happen,
renewed self belief.
Self satisfaction….? Has been for some time.
Tripping over words, he spoke softly for effect.
Wasteful, as well as thoughtful
with each new transaction.
Feeling open to pain that shudders,
shatters souls leaving a bitter trail behind.
Behind pillars holding up his world,
to make things possible
in a being who doubts all he does.
I recall, but can’t remember the nuances.
Choices made, reasons forgotten
in palaces of jade surrounded by grass of deepest green.
Hidden in laughter and tender, loving care
wrapped around his innermost child.
Safe she was, as frightened was he,
such was the paradox.
Time asks all questions.
Experience answers most of them.
Reality proves it’s all meaningless.
Subjectivity renders it personal.
Individuality makes it unique.
Solitude gives us time to ask.
Steve B 04/09