I see it all,
but not what it is real, just a skewed personal perception.
So close,
but not within reach, just another footstep further forward.
Hidden without,
but felt on the inside, just before the lights go out as the day ends.
Washed away,
but returned on the tide, just water trapped in a rockpool.
Predetermined,
but tempting fate, just idealogies no one could ever fulfil.
 
Hearing her call,
yet not understanding the words, just appreciating the soft, tender tone.
Knowing she’s there,
yet unable to reconnect, just wondering how her life progresses without him.
Believing her words,
yet falling from grace, just her brightest light in the tapestry of a night sky above.
Burning with desire,
yet unrequited, just a collection of synaptic energy no longer having direction.
Needing forgiveness,
yet usure why, just acknowledging a failure to ‘be’ what was needed.
 
Feeling warmth,
although everywhere is ever so cold, just a memory of steamed up windows in a parked car.
Proclaiming independance,
although being so alone, just wanting a small piece of the completeness.
Holding onto nothing,
although the muscle memory remains, just traces before the hand was cut off.
Lauding a virtuoso performance,
although scripted by a master playwright, just words which sounded beautiful at that exact moment.
Carrying the burden,
although a weight shared is halved, just an awkward shape to fit easily into a man’s arms.
 
Smelling a familiar tone,
merely offactory reminiscing, just an open mind before life shook an angry fist.
Nurturing the gifts,
merely natural reactions, just how things are meant to be as the scenario dictated.
Feeding an open mouth,
merely reading the signs, just fulfilling a self deluded prophecy whilst digging six feet of wet earth.
Hoping for something,
merely appreciating what was, just looking upwards to where his life climbed to never reach again.
Digesting what was said by another,
merely an opinion of a shared aquaintance, just wanting to enlighten a closed soul to the pain he causes.
 
Tasting a soft heart,
still a sharp tang in the consciousness, just waiting to tempt and tease when a closed moment is reached.
Belonging,
still with concepts too true to deny, just something a man alone can’t experiment.
Solutions unknown,
still a hypothesis with defined rights and wrongs, just complexities that cannot be anticipated.
Relationships that stand the test of time,
still something he can’t comprehend, just a fantasy revolving around people seen holding hands.
Faith and fear,
still the ultimate dream, just where a mind retreats, without even someone to talk to………..
Steve B 04/08
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